Can’t
Once again, I am viscerally struck by how devastating the use of the phrase “I can’t” is to the person uttering it.
Those two simple words create an energy field around the user of hopelessness, helplessness, and victimhood. Projected into the world each time it is spoken or thought, this phrase ultimately gives away self-will, self-determination, and one’s own inner power to some unidentified, ephemeral “something” outside oneself.
A side result of this phrase is that it appears to be a decision. It is not. “I can’t” stimulates and feeds continuous rounds of second guessing; all of the whys you cannot do whatever; all of the arguments; all of the excuses used to defend your reasons for saying “I can’t.” Perhaps one of the worst effects of using this phrase is that you open the door to others to feel they have the right to demand explanations, defenses, or reasons as to what is, in effect, a kind of refusal to do what has been asked or suggested.
And how easy it is to fall into its use. We have all been trained to avoid declaring “I will not,” or “I choose not to,” “I’ve decided not to,” or “no.” We do not, after all, wish to be seen as uncaring, lazy or selfish in society’s eyes, therefore we claim inability or incapacity.
How challenging it is to walk away from “I can’t,” even knowing the harm this phrase does. And what a challenge to, as a friend of mine was want to say, put on your big-girl panties and say “no.” You might add, as a sap to those who are pushing you, “Thank you for asking me, my decision is no.”
When you declare, “I choose not to…” or “I will not do…” or “I’ve decided not to…” or even a simple “no,” you have claimed your right to decide and have left little or no room for discussion or need to defend your decision with explanations.
It might be well to remember that your throat (5th chakra) is often referred to as the chakra of making. It is also the seat of the blue body, the matrix for the physical body. The vibrations and emotions carried in the words you say (and in the thoughts you think) are actually manifested in the world as your experiences, and strengthen or weaken the matrix. “I can’t” creates the experiences of victimization, of indecision, and of incompetence.
If the only major change you make in your life is to stop using the phrase “I can’t,” you will have come a very long way toward your personal healing, improving your well-being, increasing your self-confidence, and regaining your personal power. Just say “no.” After all, you have only your victimhood to lose.
Blessings,
Charlotte
edited by Monique Huenergardt of MoReadsYou.com