THE COIN AND KOAN* OF LIFE

No one gets out of life without experiencing grief and loss. Sometimes the deepest grief comes when we look back at our life and think how much of our life was wasted! Wasted in anger. Wasted in fear. Wasted in confusion.

No one gets out of life without experiencing joy and delight. Sometimes the most delicious joy comes unexpectedly and from something unconsidered and passed over which has suddenly caught us by surprise!

Perhaps the most deeply felt grief is that we somehow choose to focus on  pain instead of  comfort, or laughter. Sometimes the exhilaration of unexpected joy happens when we simply turn our head and see what has been there all along!

I believe one of the qualities of Uncompromising Love is that we can choose to mark and grieve the loss, and mark and celebrate the joy, and also to recognize in our bones that both are passing and both are deserving of our unswerving gratitude.

The other side of joy is sorrow. Not the “opposite” of joy – it is the other side. Not “opposite” as to push against or overcome, but androgynous, encouraging us to experience the fullness of life.

Another dimension of sorrow is joy, just as another dimension of joy is sorrow. They are the warp and weft of the fabric of Life! they are two sides of the same coin, and as such a true koan* of life.

The experiences of sorrow and joy, grief and gratitude are not limited to physical or emotional life. We cannot “run” to “spiritual life” to avoid or escape them.

Quan Yin has stated that there is not a physical life and a spiritual life. They are the same life. There is, like Love, only Life. She shares, though rarely, that her heart hurts for us – for the fears which close our eyes and hearts to the outrageous beauty and exquisite joy of simply being alive!

So it is that Quan Yin and I wish you all the joys and sorrows, all the griefs and gratitudes of a full and wondrously rich Life!

              Blessings,
                                  Charlotte

*Koan: Oxford Languages defines koan as: A paradoxical anecdote or riddle, used by Zen Buddhism, to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment.

In the Presence of Love

“From Love you come
To Love you return
Remember, there is none other.”
Dojén, as channeled by Eric Barthell,III

“There is only Perfect Love.”
Quan Yin

“How do I know if I love someone”, I am asked. “Simple”, I reply. “Close your eyes and think about that person, picture them in your mind, how do you feel?” “My heart feels warm and I smile”, is the response. “You love them”, I say as my heart warms and I smile.

The deepest yearning in the human heart is for love. The drive to become wealthy, famous, or powerful has, at its heart, the desire to love and be loved; to somehow be worthy of love. Even the search for a personal connection to “god” is a search for love. While the search for love is all too often externally focused, I personally believe that love in an inside job. That, as Quan Yin teaches, “the joy and the healing of love is in the loving, not in the being loved.”

From Quan Yin’s perspective, a living personification of unconditional, uncompromising love, love is a verb; an action, not a goal, and a conscious choice. Love then becomes a daily (sometimes hourly) active choice; a choice for connection, which is Love, instead of disconnection, which is Fear.

I can choose to “love” someone and at the same time choose NOT to interact with them because of their destructive behavior. I can choose to wish them well, put them in god’s hands, and also refrain from commingling our lives. I can choose to cut the emotional, psychic and physical ties with love, or with kindness instead of with fear, anger or hurt. I can choose to love my own flawed, human self, and also love another’s flawed, human self in the same way.

To love does not mean that dependence, interdependence or personal or intimate relationships must or will follow. It does mean you offer the same acceptance and generosity of spirit you want for yourself, and hopefully, give yourself.

When I finally stopped questioning what love was, and simply basked in the experiences of love and its many facets, I stopped believing that I lacked the capacity to love. Every time I smile (even masked and six feet apart) at someone, stranger or friend, I am in the presence of love. Every time I make time for someone to speak, even in a business capacity, I am in the presence of love. Each time I am able to simply accept someone for who they are being at the moment, I am in the presence of love. Every kindness, including slowing down so a speeding car can cut in front of me, I am in the presence of love. We are taught, especially as healers, that love heals. I believe that the true healing of love is to love; love others, love pets, love nature, and most importantly to love oneself.

I recognize that there are people who, when thought about, inexorably produce a tightening of my shoulders, a grimace on my face and a heaviness of heart; it is clear that I do not love them in any form whatsoever. Even though I know they carry Light, as does all sentient life, I am incapable (or unwilling?) of “seeing” it, responding to it, or even, in some cases, acknowledging it. I suspect it is my loss, not theirs, for choosing to not love diminishes me.

Perhaps the truth is that you and I are the presence of love, and we are simply acting out the love that is the essence of who we are. And as we consciously choose to be in the presence of love, we become, as Quan Yin encourages, the presence of love.

During this month when we celebrate love, may the Valentines you choose to receive and the Valentines you choose to give remind you that you are always in the Presence of Love, that you are the Presence of Love, and that, indeed, ‘there is none other’.

 Blessings,
Charlotte

Musical Mission Statements

This is a traditional time when folks make their New Year Resolutions! You know, those promise/wishes we hope to accomplish as we turn over a new leaf at the New Year.

I think, instead, it would be wise to construct a Mission Statement for the year. What, you may ask, is the difference? A resolution is all to often an action to “fix” something about yourself you think is wrong: lose weight, exercise more, stop smoking, meditate every day, etc. A Mission Statement is a formal summary of the aims and values you want to align your life with during the year.

As a musician, I suppose it isn’t too surprising that I find phrases from songs as the seeds of a possible Mission Statement for myself. I offer these for your enjoyment – and perhaps to get you started on your Mission Statement for 2022.

“This little light of mine, I’m gonna’ let it shine.”
Harry Dixon Loes

“Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again.”
Dorothy Field & Jerome Kern

“Weave, weave, weave me the sunshine, out of the falling rain.”
Peter Yarrow

“I’ll be your candle on the water, my love for you will always burn.”
Al Kasha & Joel Hirschoon

“Put on love every day, don’t save love for a special day, just put on love every day.”
Mary Lou Walker

“You leave love in your wake with every step that you take.”
Amy Carol Webb

“Will the circle be unbroken.”
Roy Acuff

“Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go Lord, if you lead me. I will hold Your people in my heart.”
John Michael Talbot

“In the end, only kindness matters.”
Jewel

Take some time, let the path you wish to walk this year rise up from the silence of your heart, and craft your Mission Statement in whatever language fills you with joy.

                                                          Blessings,    Charlotte